How to Experience the Blessing of Community, Shalom

Shalom is generally understood to mean “peace” or “health” or “prosperity”. It carries within itself the idea of ​​completeness. Cornelius Plantinga writes that the word Shalom is “the web together of God, humans, and all creation in righteousness, fulfillment, and delight.” Shalom is the vision of community; that’s what community strives to be.

This reminds me of something I once read about Mother Teresa. When asked how she could give so much of herself to the poor, she always replied that when she looked at them, she saw Jesus in disguise. It is the heart of a community authentic: being Jesus has others and see Jesus In others. If you are married, you must interact with our spouse as you would for him. If you are a child, you obey as if for him. If you are an employee, you work as if you were working for them. And the opposite is true: you educate as if you had been for him; you lead others as if you were leading for him.

It’s a radical idea.

Even more radical is what Shalom is built on. Namely, grace. Grace, at her heart, gets what you don’t deserve, not what you do. Grace is the essence of every successful relationship – grace toward other people’s differences, weaknesses, and sins.

And that’s the whole challenge. It’s not that we don’t love grace, we do. Not that we don’t want to experience grace, we do. It’s just that we’re better at receiving it than giving it. But it is precisely the gift of grace that allows us to take the relational stages that the community.

You know the steps. You have lived with them your whole life.

The first step is usually some sort of general attraction.

Few people instantly hit you wrong. Usually there’s something nice about it, or at least you’re openly neutral. So the first step is to give a general welcome to the relationship.

But you know what this step is almost always followed by?

A second stage: disappointment.

You start by looking at someone from a relational distance. All you have are short, quick interactions that haven’t stood the test of time. But once you know someone beyond At this level you start to see their dark side. And they will have a dark side. They will have weaknesses. Differences. Sins. Our current tendency is to let the second stage of disappointment be the defining stage of our relationship with someone. It’s sometimes necessary, such as when you discover that a person’s dark side is too strong to deal with, or you realize you have an insecure person on your hands or what you thought was chemistry s turns out to be an allergy. Then you can let this step be a wake-up call.

But most of the time, the differences we often let end a relationship are insignificant and we simply won’t extend the grace or maturity necessary to let the relationship go through the necessary – yes, inevitable – phase of disappointment. But if you don’t do this, you will never move on to the third stage, the one where the real community begins to take shape.

And this third step is acceptance.

This is when you overcome disappointments, strive to extend grace and understanding, and thereby allow yourself to fully understand someone’s strengths and weaknesses. Then you accept them under these conditions. THE Bible specifically challenges us. In the book of Romans it says, “Accept yourselves therefore as Christ accepted you” (Romans 15:7, NIV). If you cannot do this, you will have to Never have meaningful relationships in your life.

Already.

If you are unable or unwilling to enter the acceptance phase, then you will be a very lonely and isolated person. No human on earth is free from things that might disappoint you. If you don’t believe this, you will simply move from one person to another, from one relationship to another, without any of them settling into a real relationship. community. But if you go through the second stage and the third, you can move on to the fourth stage.

The fourth step is appreciation.

It comes down to what you found attractive to begin with and enjoying everything that is good and wonderful about them. It’s almost like going back to step one, but with wisdom and insight. If the first step is like a first date, the fourth step is like watching a couple celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and you see the look they look at each other – the deep, mature sense of love they share .

And it’s a beautiful thing.

Is there anything else? Yes.

Intimacy: a fifth stage where you can love and be loved, serve and be served, celebrate and be celebrated, know and be known.

So do you see how commitment work is key?

Too many of us have a brightly lit “EXIT” sign over every relationship in our lives – where we work, where we live, where we go to church, even in our marriages. As long as we hang this poster on the door of our community’s life, we will not do the work of commitment necessary to experience the community we long For. The secret to the best friendships, the best marriages, the best work situations, churches and neighborhoods is that they took down the exit signs. And when there’s no exit sign, there’s only one thing you can do: whatever it takes to make the relationship thrive.

I recently heard about a family who brought home a 12-year-old boy named Roger, whose parents died of an overdose. There was no one to take care of him, so the parents of this family decided to raise him as if he were one of their own sons. At first it was difficult for Roger. This was the first environment in which he had ever experienced adults addicted to heroin.

As a result of the culture shock, every day – and several times throughout the day – Roger’s new mother or father would say, “No, Roger, that’s not how we behave in this family. ” Or “No, Roger, you don’t have to yell, fight, or hurt others to get what you want. » Or “Roger, we expect you to show respect in this family.

Over time, Roger began to change.

For many of us, community—especially the new community the Bible calls us to—requires new behavior. The death of old practices and the birth of new ones. We are like the boy, adopted into a new family, needing to relearn how to interact with others.

But here is the good news: When we hear the Holy Spirit tell us, “No, that’s not how we act in this family,” we can say, “You’re right. It’s not.”

And change. And begin to have the relationships we want with others as part of the new community God desires us to experience.

Sources

James Emery White, A Traveler’s Guide to the Kingdom. Get the Church and Culture eBook HERE.

Cornelius Plantinga, It’s not what it’s supposed to be: a breviary of sin.

“How God’s Children Change” Preach todayquoted by Craig Barnes in the sermon, “The Blessed Trinity,” May 30, 1999.

Photo credit: © GettyImages / Rawpixel

James Emery White is the founder and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, and an adjunct professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he also served as its fourth president. His latest book, Meet Generation Z: Understanding and Reaching the New Post-Christian World, is available on Amazon. To benefit from a free subscription to the Church & Culture blog, visit the website ChurchAndCulture.org, where you can view past blogs in our archives and read the latest church and cultural news from around the world. Follow Dr. White on Twitter, Facebook And Instagram.