Flirting VS dating: what are the differences?
Any romantic relationship intended to lead to marriage begins first with a meeting, then follows courtship which continues until engagement and finally there will be marriage. The courtships constitute the time of discovery of one and the other; a period where future partners learn to become good friends and better accomplices. As for the time of engagement, it is a preparation for marriage. It goes without saying that there is a specific season for dating, another for engagement then that of marriage. Lovers who do not distinguish between these three seasons, live them sideways, to the point of missing out on the Lord's promises.
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Understanding dating or friendship
You don't marry a stranger; this is why the courtship stage is essential for every Christian couple. Indeed, it offers an opportunity for lovers to get to know each other, to fraternize and to exchange ideas. Furthermore, dating advises gradually approaching the major themes of life, in addition to helping to confront ideas as well as views of the world and current events of partners. They also allow you to develop a friendship through a real knowledge of others. When this stage is completed well, most future spouses will see their friendship flourish and their feelings deepen. Soon the day will come when the thought of marriage will be naturally and seriously addressed and, with it, the time to talk about engagement.
However, in dating, some easily indulge in many practices. "By love" such as flirtations.
What is flirting?
In French, the term flirting is defined as emotional relationships between people of the proposed sex, devoid of deep feeling and which can serve, but not before, as a prelude (preliminary) to sex. The English term, for its part, is broader and refers in particular to an informal conversation which can precede sexual intercourse. It takes into account caresses, kisses, touches, "Sweet words" or other sexual stimulation. Thus, every gesture or word that promotes sexual arousal can be considered flirting.
Therefore, when flirting is practiced within the framework of engagement and dating, they become devastating for Christian couples who indulge in them. It's as if we were activating a foreign fire in this phase of friendship, and this will not be without consequences: Leviticus 10:1-2 (KJV) “The sons of Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, each took a brazier, and put fire in it, and put incense upon it; they attribute strange fire before the Lord, which He had not commanded them. Then fire went out from before the LORD, and consumed them: they died before the LORD…”
Dating flirtations are usually aimed at selfish pleasure. Or the Bible urges us in these terms: 1 Corinthians 10: 24 (LSG) “Let no one seek his own interest, but each seek that of others ». This is why a relationship based on respect for others, affection, love and not sex will later become a haven of peace, mutual trust and loyalty. This is precisely what attendance aims for because it is written in 1 Peter 1:15-16 (KJV): "But he who called you is holy, so be you holy in all your conduct, as it is written, Ye shall be holy, for I am holy."
The trap in dating is when lovers already desire each other as a couple and say to each other: “We love each other and we're going to get married anyway. " They then say to themselves that the best way to prove their love to each other would be to indulge in touching, caressing and other sexual games that they consider safe. Where flirtations are a preparation for sexual intercourse, flirting is a ruse of the devil intended to push future spouses towards sin. Generally, foreplay includes the partners in the sexual relationship. And when engaged couples indulge in these practices, they lead themselves into temptation. This is how one day they will find themselves succumbing to the object of their lust, without having planned it beforehand, having played with temptation (James 1: 14-15). This is how many Christians come to succumb to fornication, with their partners, before marriage.
Ephesians 6:11 (KJV) “Put on all the armor of God, that you may stand firm against the wiles of the devil. »
Honoring God in Dating
We are called to manifest the glory of God in all aspects of our life, including in the journey with our future spouse. Therefore, here are some attitudes to adopt for a friendship that honors God.
- Put God at the center of our relationship and find our pleasure in the Eternal :
This allows us to develop together a life of prayer, sanctification and consecration to God. Furthermore, we will understand that we cannot love ourselves and walk towards marriage by our own strength, but only by the Holy Spirit.
Psalms 127:1 (KJV) “…Except the LORD build the house, their builders labor in vain; Unless the Lord guards the city, He who guards it watches in vain.
- Define limits to our attendance :
These limits must take into account our visiting hours, the themes to be discussed during the exchanges (nourish our exchanges with healthy and productive words) and our meeting places (avoid places that promote unhealthy physical contact). It is said that the best gift we can give to our future partner is that of a pure heart and a pure body. So let's work on that, imposing a sense of discipline on ourselves.
Romans 6:12 (KJV) “So let not sin reign in your mortal body, neither obey its lusts. »
- Flee all situations that could lead to fornication :
1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV): « Flee from immorality. Whatever other sin a man commits, that sin is outside the body; but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
We can and we must know each other, to be able to associate without any sexual contact, or practice tending to lead us towards sexual desires. Because let us remember, the practice of sex is only authorized in marriage, although the world pushes us to believe the opposite under the pretext "Taste before you buy". Yet sex can give a couple the illusion of being compatible and happy, when in reality this is not the case. There will be many moments during the wedding, while the sex will not be possible; so if sex is the only thing we choose, our union is headed for failure. This is why dating time is given to demonstrate that we are happy to live together, even without having sex.
- Avoid being an occasion of downfall and scandal for the other :
Luke 17: 1 (KJV) "... It is impossible that scandals do not occur; but woe to him by whom they come! »
Our motivation must be to want the happiness of others. Indeed, our greatest happiness is to have eternal life and to obtain the Kingdom of Heaven. The greatest proof of love is therefore to help others to have this eternal salvation, in addition to experiencing the love of our Heavenly Father. If each partner seeks the happiness of the other during dating, the relationship will then be built on Jesus Christ, the Rock, and this will promote the couple's future life together, namely marriage. Which will naturally lead future spouses into eternal life.
- Be supervised and followed by a spiritual authority :
It is important to listen to advice in order to see the traps and tricks of the devil in our relationship. Indeed, an outside gaze can see things that we have not been able to perceive.
Proverbs 19:20 (KJV): « Listen to advice, and receive instruction, So that you may be wise in the rest of your life”.
Author Yedess Elisee