Remember when you and your wife were dating? It was really hard not to touch each other.
You wanted her and she wanted you. It was so good. It was great. There is no better feeling than being wanted. After marriage, and especially after having children, things can change. You're always ready to go every night, but you're not.
What happened? You feel like you rarely have sex and when you do, you feel like she's doing you a favor.
You work out, you look good, but it doesn't make any difference. You are lost. This whole married sex thing was supposed to be different. Couples counseling might be something to consider for a deeper understanding. However, these 5 reasons why some women don't want sex will help you understand and show you what to do:
1. She doesn't feel connected to you.
Even though we feel more connected to our wives by having sex, our wives need to connect first. You may have talked with her about daily logistics or superficial things. She needs more. She wants to be seen, heard and known. The disconnection causes his loneliness. It's like she's trapped in a dungeon alone. You must free her.
Action: Talk to him about her. Find out how she feels, her insecurities, her fears and her struggles. Also share how you feel. Just watch her, no distractions. Get tunnel vision on her. “Release the mechanism. »
2. She doesn't feel sexy.
Her body has changed since having children. She knows it and probably thinks about it all the time, constantly comparing herself to other women. Even when she gets her pre-baby body back, I guarantee she's still comparing – desperate for affirmation. The best place she can get it is from you.
Action: Affirm it. She needs to feel your passion for her in your words, your body language and your eyes. Tell her she's sexy and why, especially when she makes a negative comment about herself. When you come home from work, greet her with a long hug and kiss before greeting the kids. Look her in the eye and don't be in a hurry to look away. When you are outside, direct your eyes towards her rather than other places. Give her a look that communicates, in a room full of people, she's the only one you want to talk to.
3. His sexual appetite is naturally not as strong as yours.
Studies show that over the course of a relationship, a woman's sexual desire decreases while her desire for tenderness increases. The problem is that our sexual desire remains as high as ever. Even at his peak, his appetite may not have been as high as yours and probably never will be.
Action: Acknowledge this reality and be patient with it. Contact her with physical and emotional tenderness. This is what she wants and needs. Try to meet their needs before yours.
4. She is tired, stressed or depressed.
Motherhood is exhausting, emotionally draining and stressful. Again, depending on the depth of their anxiety and/or depression, you may want to seek counseling.
Action: Give him some rest. Take the kids for a day out, run errands for her, or clean the house. If she's stressed or depressed, rub her shoulders without asking. Give him a foot or full body massage. Tell him to relax and unwind. Give him some music to listen to and light some candles. Take away his tension.
5. She focuses on being a mother, not a wife.
Women put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mom – to have it all together. They blame themselves for every little mistake or lack of knowledge. They compare and may obsess over eliminating imperfections. Sometimes our relationship as husband and wife gets lost. It's not good. Your intimate relationship is important and also requires his attention.
Action: You need to talk to him about how you feel. However, make sure you don't chase her or pressure her. Encourage her by telling her how great she is as a mom. However, let her know that you miss her, want her, and desire her. It might even be okay to use the word jealous here. Your biggest concern should be having more privacy – an important need for each of you.
For the original article, visit allprodad.com.